A Guitarist's Life

Hope

2010-10-15T01:40:00.000+06:00

Friday, October 15, 2010

I write because I want to get tired. Being tired is good. Being tired leads to sleep, usually. Sleeping means temporary respite from your demons. Sleeping is better than lying on the floor staring up at your fan, spending its life spinning on its axis never ending. Sleeping is better than seeing your failures line up and jeering at you. Over your achievements. Writing without thinking means staring at a white page getting filled up with random crap which will act as reminders that your life used to be crap once upon a time. Atleast you’ll feel better after 15 years reading this that nothing has changed. Its still crap at some point in the future. Staring at the pc screen gets your eyes tired which means sleep. Usually.

Some people have the personality that they can’t see their achievements over their failures. Every time I am back at this point thinking of what I haven’t yet achieved, some positive friends of mine tell me to look back and see what I’ve achieved so far. Well it doesn’t feel that good to me, so I thought I’d write down all the small achievements so far and all that I’ve had set my aims for but I am yet to achieve. Here goes –

Achieved:

2 bronze medals, Karate tournament, age 17

1 silver medal, Taekwondo tournament, age 17

Black belt in Taekwondo, age 18

First EP, pioneering Bloodlust, age 20

First national TV appearance, age 21

BBA Graduation (does this even count?), age 22

Job at Citibank, age 22

Job at GP, age 23

First major label release, mainstream band, age 24

First promotion, age 25

First performance as guitar instrumental artist, age 27

Second promotion, age 28

Not achieved and other disappointments at age 28 and counting:

Getting the fuck out of BD

Releasing an instrumental EP/CD in BD

Performing regularly at shows

Making some good quality music in BD

Releasing my instrumental CD from Favored Nations

Having a music career

Going to college for a performance degree in music

Not being able to focus on learning to sing

I don’t know if I should be happy or if I should be sad but I am just tired of all this running about in circles chasing after my music. It seems like all my efforts at being a musician if going to waste. I’ve been trying to get out of bd for soooo long now but obstacles spring up from nowhere. Sometimes you get so tired that its beyond your body and it starts nibbling and eating away at your mind. I think its happening to me. Its so easy to give everything up, all this crazy shit and just be normal, have a great normal job life with a big salary and buying that plasma tv after all, getting that next promotion (its easy as a pie), marrying a decent girl and loving her, having kids and just live a life. That’s it, so simple and easy and normal. They say Hope is the worst evil because it prolongs the torment of man. I know this for a fact. I’ve been hoping for something to come through for so long that its become an addiction.

My Unfinished Poetry

2010-09-05T19:21:00.001+06:00

My Unfinished Poetry

It’s one more morning with you, after one lifetime.
You are packing your stuff, rushing to catch the flight back home.
and I am silently wishing I was a superhero, with powers to freeze time.
In this moment.
Forever.

Because I wanted you to know -

You are a poetry I don’t want to finish
‘Cuz I don’t want to share you with the world.

You compare me with Chopin and Vai in the same breath,
How could I have not fallen madly in love?

I find you equally in a Van Halen and a Norah Jones song.
Umm, I might have overshot a little. Are you smiling as you read this?

I will live for eons in that moment -
As we cried together for the legend of our lifetime,
He said “I love you” to you, me and the whole world -
For one last time.

And as we walked hand in hand in the city where our love took life,
I missed him so.
Hope he draws beautiful pictures with his crayons.
I used to draw and paint when I was a kid.
Did you know that?

And then when you were gone, I missed you.
I missed you in the local sea-food, the book stores,
In the empty sky-train packed with strangers.
I missed you on the bus to the city,
And in the vast empty spaces of the malls.

And though the Asian sky split apart and
It cried and cried and cried because you were gone,
I was not sad.
I was not sad because I carry you with me
I was not sad because you will always be -
My unfinished poetry.

The importance of support & ... fatherly approval?

2010-05-24T23:15:00.004+06:00

Today the headlines of most of our newspapers read - 'Bangladesh On Everest'. A bangladeshi 30 year old man has reached the top of Mt. Everest. This is the first time by a fellow country man to achieve this big an accomplishment. After being happy for him, the next thought that came to my mind was - 'Did he get any support from his family to make this HUGE achievement?' 'Did his parents tell him to go for his dreams and not look back?' 'Did they give him any support when he wanted to leave his job (or not get into a job altogether) and wanted to make history?' .... I DON'T THINK SO. I don't really think that our support system, our parents and the elders and the other family members here have any idea how to support someone who wants to be different, who wants to do something MORE, something ELSE than the others. Every one pressurises the young people to be 'responsible' or to 'grow up' or to do the 'normal' thing.

This has been bugging me for quite sometime now. Willingly or unwillingly i am always analyzing my progress (or lack thereof) of my musical journey. Most of the times, I feel that if only I had a stronger support system, I could have done so much better. By support system I mean encouragement and appreciation by parents. I am a musician soul which has been born into a pretty non-musical family, although my mom can sing a bit and some of my aunties are accomplished singers. However Dad isn't. Therefore, given the context of a third world country where it takes a LOT to ensure a secured and stable life, the pressure was always on from a young age to establish myself and be stable. I remember as a child I had a natural talent for sketching and painting. I also had a little bit of understanding of Fashion and Interior Design. And ofcourse later I discovered I have considerable talents as a musician. However I am none of the above.

I've been struggling in the local music scene for quite a long time now, and it really isn't getting any better. Yes I know that i am respected amongst a very small group of people but that is nothing. In all this years, I have NOT had any amount of support from my father. Let's not even talk about appreciation. For some strange reason, my efforts are not really good enough for him - and he even has his 2 cents to give regarding my choice to concentrate on guitar and instrumental music - according to him I should sing too as playing the guitar only would not take me anywhere. Ok. You have an opinion and I will try to respect it - but do say something positive! :)

However, after finally months of actual self taught voice lessons and mental preparations, I DID sing in an event where the audience really liked the performance, proven by the fact that they were dancing and several of them came up to me later to show their appreciation, upon showing the video of the performance my dad had this to say - 'What does that backdrop in the background mean?' Thats it. :). I know i could be the most terriblest singer in the whole wide world...but You are my parent...you can say a few encouraging words...like mom did. It wouldn't REALLY hurt you Lol...in a way I find it really funny as well cuz my expectations from him are Zero and I didnt even want to share the vdo, but mom insisted. Even then it feels kinda weird cuz I know if I had enough support from my surroundings, I would've done much much better.

or maybe I am just making excuses for my own failures.

good night everyone, I love you all.

Ashique M. Fahim

Bangkok Food...

2010-05-03T00:24:00.016+06:00

ok long time no blogging...don't complain cuz either i am too busy or i am too depressed that i am not too busy making music...so...i thought i'd just post some photos of food from bangkok...from the last trip where me and anton tried to photograph every lunch we had...so here goes...

First Hour In Bangkok - and I had to get this soup...tom yam goon at a very cheap road side hotel near where Anton used to live...we had this bowl of soup almost every day...my mouth waters...

Experimented with something REALLY Thai...this is Semi-raw Beef with Blood :D...was pretty good actually...

Very Simple thai rice with stir fried see food and! CHOCOLATE MILK! (LOVE IT!)

SUSHI!!! SUSHI!! SUSHI!!!
Look how happy Anton is because..(wait for it...)
SUSHI = HAPPINESS!!!
I am equally happy on this side of the lense! :D

Road side Pad-Thai...(don't giggle!)

Simple lunch...Rice and stir fried sea-food with chillies...simply chiliiiciious!

Rice with chicken & beef & ... EGG! We loved this egg thingy in thai food...had it almost in every of our lunches :D

Assorted meat for hot-pot frying :D

Mr. Anton frying the meat with demonic satisfaction :D

A seven-eleven grilled chicken burger at 2.00 a.m.
To me, the best burger ever. And the best time.

And finally...washing it all down with Mai-Tais at the Baba bar :D
We were broke and could order only one drink...but they gave us one free! (because everywhere we go, people can't help but fall in love with us :D:D)

Kichui Bhalo Lagche Nah.

2010-02-21T01:20:00.000+06:00

Kichui Bhalo Lagche Nah.

The Potato Sellers and The Clown Act

2010-02-01T02:15:00.004+06:00

So the other day, one young dude comes up to one of my best friends Anton (a good heavy metal vocalist and a hard-core musician) and says 'Have you heard this guy's music?! Its really good, the public will eat it up!' (which, interpreted from bangla means that the music is very commercial and it will appeal to the public). Anton, being the hard-core musician and the sharp mouth he is, says "if he wants to feed the public, why doesn't he sell potatoes? Isn't that a healthier choice? Why does he needs the public to eat his music?" I almost died from laughing on hearing this...and how true it is in today's music scene! Every where I see now, every 'musician' is selling their music. Yeah i know you need to make a living out of it and everything, but come on, get a part-time job or play live gigs with cover bands for that. Why do you make music with the only intention of 'feeding' the public?

An accentuated version of these potato sellers are the organizers and promoters these days. Esp in Dhaka. Very recently i was playing guest guitars with a mainstream rock band, and was negotiating a deal with this 'organizer'. You won't believe me what 2 questions he asked me, even after knowing that we are a established rock band, and we have been one of the top 10 finalists of Djuice Rockstars (a band competition with wide national coverage). He asked me -

Do you guys play hindi songs?
Do you guys have a female vocalist?

I was dumbstruck with my fone on one hand and a cigarette on the other for a full 15 seconds. I could not believe I just heard what he said. A female vocalist? Is that what the potato sellers are selling these days? Is that what your 'clients' are looking for in a band now, you motherfucking meat seller? To ogle at a girl and tickle their fantasies? I kept my calm and asked him - hi, have you seen our band? He came back with this reply - yeah I know you didn't have a female, but these days everyone who didn't have them are also adding a female vocalist, so.... This is what the vegetable and meat sellers are doing to our music scene. I hung the phone up and went back to sipping my cup of road side tea with Anton.

Please go back to selling potatoes, (not) dear organizers. It's more profitable and suits you.

On an additional note, I was recently hired as The Clown Act in a small gig. (by 'hired' I mean 'not paid', just being given the holy chance to perform in front of a minuscule crowd). Usually, in a live music bar, a small band/artist opens the night and then the headliner comes in. In a circus, though, there are specialized acts, and in between these acts, there are Clowns who come in and jump and do funny stuff to keep the crowd entertained. So, when the holy organizer said that I will have to perform my set in the break that the main band will take between their 2 sets, I knew i was The Clown Act.

After struggling two days with it, I finally decided to swallow my pride and do the gig, in hopes of that day when I will be the headliner (being an instrumental musician in a 3rd world country where music is sold like potatoes and meat, I doubt that will ever happen here). But if that day ever comes, watch out Mr. Potato Seller!

If you are a true musician, be very careful of the Potato Sellers and I hope that you will never have to be The Clown Act.

Anyway, here are some videos from the gig:

Crush of Love (Satriani Cover) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIBserGjqJc

Mornings With You (Original) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxsNynXmBlA

Love Thing (Satriani Cover) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1Drfd9n9zQ

Love and Peace,
Fahim

Turning 28

2010-02-01T01:38:00.004+06:00

I turned 28 about an hour ago. :).

As most of my birthdays go, this one is also very very special to me. Not for any particular reason, just because. Being a bit of an narcissist (and hiding it as much as i can), my birthday is the single most important day to me in the year. This day is all about me! I still feel like a kid from the last week of January in anticipation of my day...planning a party for my best friends, finalizing the small details, getting the happy birthday hug from momma in the early morning (She, like me, believes that birthdays start with the sunrise :D)...ah!

But this year, i feel that this birthday will mean much more to me, because it hopefully is going to be my last birthday as a conformer, as a musician caught in the traps of jobs and responsibility and money. Hopefully if everything goes well (touch wood, touch wood!) I will move out very soon, and start my life as a full time struggling musician. (did you catch the word struggling?) Soon, i hope, i will be far away from being the outcome of my father's risk averse dreams and ordinary hopes. Very soon I hope that I will be away from this bone-crushing pain of seeing my dreams get far away from me as days pass by and the layers of years fall on top of each other.

I don't dream of riding a BMW or Bentley some day. I don't dream of champagne nights and i don't dream of the glitz of shopping malls. Give me my tube and give me my seedy live music bar and give me my guitar. I will be happy.

27 years have gone by. 28th will change my life.

Or I will not be living, just surviving.

Bangkok Adventourus 2009 - Chapter III

2009-11-14T20:26:00.005+07:00

Saturday, November 14, 2009
16:16
Anton’s 1 room apartment, Bangkok.

I landed here on the 12th and the two days just zipped past me. Whooosh! That’s what usually happens whenever I am in Bangkok. What’s different this time is that I am taking it a bit slow this time, giving myself more time to take it all in. And another thing that’s different is Darky. He greeted Anton with all the yippie and yuppie of an 8 month old puppy and me with a slight fear. But within one day we’ve become friends and apparently he has developed a great liking of biting my legs and feet with his small teeth! Here are some pictures of this little bundle of abundant energy –

Met two of anton’s friends – Daniel and Alisa. We jammed at a local studio here. They are really good people. I usually don’t like people too much but they were cool kids to hang out with.

I really liked the management of the studios/jam pads here – you just walk in and practice and pay by the hour. They have guitars, bass guitars, basic distortion pedals AND not one, but TWO marshall combos in the pad, and you can just come in and play. I feel sad when I think about our jam pads back at home and how those people are ripping us off. Oh well, one more thing to be pissed about my lovely country!

I had the best day of my life on the 13th … and that is all I will say here because some matters are just not to be shared, blog or no-blog. :)

Till Next Time!

Bangkok Adventourus 2009 - Chapter II

2009-11-14T20:24:00.001+07:00

Thursday, November 12, 2009
07:59
Place: Zia International Airport

This is a typical post of one traveler making his typical blog entry waiting at the airport terminal for his flight. Lol. Even with my small travel experience so far, I can’t help but compare our airport to the others that I’ve been through. So far I’ve seen the Bangkok, Kuala lampur and the Singapore airport and it feels a bit sad we’re so far behind in terms of money and management.

Oops! They’ve started the call for boarding. Gotta run!

Bangkok Adventourus 2009

2009-11-14T20:02:00.005+07:00

Wednesday, November 11, 2009
23:04
Place: Shamim’s place, night before the flight.

Finally, tomorrow I am flying to Bangkok once more, on a l-o-n-g awaited, long deserved and long planned vacation! Right now am at Shamim’s, spending the night here because his home is near the airport, making my early morning rushed commute to catch the 9.00 am flight all that more easier. He is sitting right beside me, his own laptop on his lap, chatting or facebooking. We have become that techy these days, you know! Once upon a time it was just all of us friends crammed into one tiny room just to spend a night over and die out laughing with god-knows-what jokes! Now all of us are scattered all over the world, some in Canada, some in USA, some in Australia, some in the UK and some of us (less fortunate) left behind in our beloved mother land! It’s been so long that we’ve all gotten together and just been boys! Most of us are now running in the same rat race that we’ve dreaded for so long – worried sick about deadlines and targets and meetings and presentations and decisions and strategy and vision and leadership and god-damn what not! I just wanna be a boy again with all my homies!

This trip is coming at the right time for me. Work has been crazy for the last few months. Life has been crazy for the last few months. I’ve been very active in my music life, finally stumbling upon that place which finally feels right. But there have been way too many developments at work – more non-work and political rather than actual work being done. For obvious reasons, I cannot share them here. But the last month has been my true awakening about what a corporation can do to a human being. Or maybe the person who we are talking about has been that way all along. Poor guy never knew that under my pretty face there lays a mind as sharp as a surgical blade. So when he was planning to back stab me, he never knew I saw him coming from a mile away. I never knew I could be this sinewy, this crafty, this clever and this merciless. I have changed his life forever. And I don’t regret it one bit. I have always been the most peaceful of souls, but I will not take it if you step on my toes. If you lose my respect, know this – you have done something terribly wrong. If you see my kicking you – it’s because you’ve planned to kick me when I was down. You have brought out that vicious and vindictive side out of me – and I pray that after I stop seeing you I will get back to my normal self. You told me corporate is a dog-eat-dog world, yeah? Well guess what? I just ate you, my friend. Only because you were planning to eat me all along.

I can’t write enough how much I am looking forward for this trip. I wanna wash away all this crap and come back fresh and new and start everything – I know bigger things will be waiting for me here. I want to come back and take that place to a new height…lofty goals, but do able. But for now, I can’t wait for the thai sun to hit me! I just love that city – with all its craziness going on in every corner, it has so many things to offer apart from the typical crap.

I feel like I am not going anywhere with this blog, so I am going to stop now! But I will leave you with a photo of Shamim -

New Single comin' Up!!!

2009-10-24T21:44:00.007+07:00

Hey!!

Just wanted to share that a new single of mine, named "Mornings With You" is going to be released soon all over the net on 1 November 2009. As you can guess, this song is about those special mornings when you wake up beside the person you truly, madly, deeply Love (how cliche! :D) ... it's about all those special mornings when you can not believe that you didn't realize till now how an ordinary morning is actually so beautiful, so breathtaking, just by having that special someone beside you...who is still half-asleep, her hair gone all wild and her dreamy eyes still refusing to wake up, and you can't stop yourself from looking away from her. Its about those mornings when you don't wanna leave the bed, and if you do, you wrap yourself and her around in that big blanket and go to the balcony to watch the breaking dawn...about those mornings when you can't believe how lucky you are to have found this special entity who fits, who finally makes sense in your life, who completes you, who challenges you, who makes you want to be a better man...yet accepts you and loves you as you are...'tis about those mornings...

we all yearn for this special morning to come across our lives even if for once...and for whom it has come, can know that he/she is blessed. I am one of them.

Please click the Facebook banner on top and join my page, where you will be able to download the song when it is released. It will be free to download. You can also click on the below Facebook event, and join the event where it will be released as well...

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=176564927240&ref=mf

I will be delighted if you play "Mornings with You" even once in a lovely morning or in your car stereo... :)

Ashique M. Fahim

Burnin' it up at Le-Saigon!

2009-10-19T16:04:00.000+07:00

Hi You,

I just payed my homage to the King of Pop himself and another living legend of Rock Guitar - Michael Jackson and Eddie Van Halen!

GrooveTrap, one of the most popular bands of my town, consists of members who are all my very close friends. Some times they would invite me to play a few songs with them as a guest artist. This time, they were doing a Michael Jackson tribute show named - Michael Jackson: Invincible! at a great place in Dhaka named 'Le Saigon', which is arguably one of the best places for food and music.

GrooveTrap brought serious heat to the floor covering almost all of the MJ classics, including Billie Jean, Smooth Criminal, Man in the Mirror, Give in to Me, Earth Song, Beat It, and Thriller, amongst many others. There were dancers (all our friends) who looked and played the part to the fullest. Gasps of fear went through the floor when the Zombies walked out on the floor during 'Thriller'.

Ofcourse, any little kid who picks up the guitar and wants to play rock music, gasps in awe at a man named Eddie Van Halen. EVH, as he is lovingly called, practically stopped the guitar world at its track in the early 80's with his jaw-dropping tapping technique, brilliant song-writing, and spell-binding stage performance. Within days after his swan-song ERUPTION, guitar players, guitar magazines and everyone else were scratching their heads thinking what it was that hit them! Since then, two-handed tapping has been a must have tecknik for any self-respecting guitar player. So, it was around mid-night when Simin, the lead female singer from GrooveTrap announced my name to come on stage, and made the crowd chant - "fahim, fahim, fahim" ... I recall a chill going down my spine walking through that crowd towards that stage, thinking about EVH and his world famous guitar solo in Beat It. How I've wondered as a kid to figure out what this deity has put on tape on a fine afternoon at a studio in L.A.!!! Now it was time for me to go up there and try to do my best...

I turned my amp up and heard the bells ... and it was On! The crowd was full throttle again with their loud cheers and screams and Leonard (guest singer) just sang his heart out. The dancers came out with their leather jackets and showed how funky and strong their fight was! We never wanted to stop and neither did the crowd want us to, but when we did, we were drenched in sweat and the love and adoration of the crowd. It was perfect! It was one of the best experiences of my live shows playing for a crowd like that - who supports you and loves you all the way!

...oh and did I play the EVH guitar solo ok? check it out and let me know, will you? :)

Us, Guitarists...

2009-10-15T21:41:00.000+07:00

We. Are. Different.

Seriously. Out of all the musicians that you will find out there in the world, I challenge you to find some other types who are so whacked out, so high strung, so sensitive, so carefree, so emotional, so unattached. We can scream at every one in the band, including the singer's girlfriend, for keeping just one silly guitar part in a song. Then we can walk away from it all one fine day. We can hug our guitars to sleep, that cold piece of wood and wires instead of the warmth of a woman. We can break everything apart, including our own lives when we want to. When we write the songs every word and every note becomes a part of our soul, our being. When we are up there on the stage under the bright lights we turn into monsters. Then we shy away from all the attention and let the singer to gobble it up. Jimi Hendrix was so shy of singing his songs that he used to turn off the lights in the studio and send every one out. Yet he is the God that burned the guitar on stage, and brought out sounds from it that mankind never knew. Steve Vai used to transcribe for Frank Zappa for 18 hours non-stop. Vai now transcribes photos of his wife’s rose garden against a white fence in his backyard into written music and plays them on guitar. Jason Becker, who is completely paralyzed from the disease ALS, still composes music with his eyes and special software. Give me one singer, one keyboard player, one drummer who will do that.

When we pick up the guitar in our confused teenage years, the primary motivation is to get the chicks. It’s one thing we hope that will make us ‘cool’ and get them interested. Its one thing that we hope will make us accepted in to that inner circle of popular kids. Then one day that inanimate object in our hands start to speak to us in a language no body else can hear. Girls start to seem annoying. Food stops being tasty. Sports stop being attractive. We get holed up in our bed rooms. We spend 8-9 hours (for us normal people, Vai practiced 12 hours as a kid) straight trying to figure out that fretboard. We spend ours trying to connect chords together in ways that we hope other people before us did not do. We sweat and we toil and we get frustrated just trying to learn what our guitar hero did on tape. We think of ‘Eruption’ by Van Halen and how he is the living deity of rock guitar that happened to visit us in Earth. We think of Satriani and how he can manage to make those same notes that we play, sound so beautiful, so strange. We don’t find the answers. But we hang on. We keep searching. The hunger never satiates. We soak up everything we can from everywhere. We think of what chord is that smile of that girl we loved at 5^th grade? We think of what melody will express our first experience of true love and true hate? We are trapped in a maze we don’t want to get out of. Give me one true guitarist who says he doesn’t like playing guitar anymore and I will show you a liar.

Why are we made this way? Do you know the answer?

I am still searching.

Good night.

Fahim

(this blog does not mean any disrespect to any other musicians)

Who Am I? Why Am I?

2009-10-05T14:52:00.000+07:00

Hi you, whoever you are reading this. Thank You.

I've never blogged. I don't know how this goes. And I am not really comfortable putting out my hearts thoughts out there in the world. But I guess I needed to write some stuff down that've been building up for a while. This is more important now because in your late 20's, you may realize that your friends are quite busy with their own lives and you can't really blame them for that. Most of them have kids and a ladder to climb. Few, if any, is struggling like you to establish himself/herself as an artist. Mostly...because they've given up their childhood dreams and now its tough for you to make them understand what you are going through as a guy whose inner Peter Pan refuses to die.

What am I going through? Most probably the biggest realization that I am going through is that I was born to be a musician. After 4 yrs of college education in business and 5 yrs of corporate job experience, where incidentally, I am also doing pretty good, I realized that none of them matters. I've been going thru this process for a long time but never had the guts to admit it becuz it throws so many challenges right at you. How am I going to support myself? Where is the next paycheck coming from? Will I ever be affluent enough to marry and have kids? Am I actually talented musically? Will people really like hearing what I have to say musically? EVEN then, the monster lying deep deep down in the labyrinth of my inner most desires have finally surfaced and consumed me from beginning till the end. I have lost that battle between a well paid secured life and a insecure, risky life of a musician. I still have not given up my job yet. But I am putting one block on top of another and building the bridges that I need to. There is a plan. Will I be able to actually make the transition to become a full time musician? I don't know yet. But I will keep you posted on this. If you want to know.

I am also going through a massive shift as a musician. I've been involved in several bands till now, pioneering 1 extreme metal band in my country, tried to take forward another heavy metal band; wrote, recorded and released a major label album with a mainstream band till now. In between there are many other tails of broken hopes and bitter disappointments. But there has always been a hunger in me for more, for something more free, more eclectic, more eccentric, more exploring, more guitar lines, more boundaries to be broken. Maybe for this reason I have always, even while in being in bands, been interested in Instrumental music. I’ve written countless instrumental tunes, most of which are somewhere in my hard disks, and some have been released. But I have been pretty dormant as a musician for the last 2 years, trying to realize who am I as a MUSICIAN. And one day, not suddenly, but very slowly I realized that I am actually an instrumental guitarist. And then everything felt right, you know? Just right. Everything was right. I heard my calling. Although a bit late, but hey, at last I got it! I felt that I was completely free at last. I could write poetries with my music and not worry about some stranger having to sing them. I could paint pictures with my guitar – sadness, anger, joy, lust, love, everything! I knew it, for the first time in my life that THIS IS IT.

After that, it is a uphill battle. It is probably even more uphill than being in a band with singer. But I don’t care now. With the internet helping us people to share our music with the world, I am free to write what I want to write musically. Instrumental guitar music, is one of the least popular genres of current times, and probably I will not be riding a Ferrari in my life from the money I make in this music. But that’s okay. I can live with a Honda. Or a Toyota. As long as I get to load it up with my guitar, my small amp and my FX pedals, and drive to some small club where the smoke is thick and the people are listening to you pour your heart out through that piece of wood and wires, I will be happy.

Good night...

Ashique M. Fahim